JH's Birthday Rap by CH

My daughter, in Scotland, sent her dad this birthday rap today and, tho it's clearly cobbled together, I think it's sufficiently amusing (& insightful!) to open it up for others to enjoy.

Happy 50th my dearest Dad,
I hope my lack of presence does’nt make you sad,
If it helps i wrote you this song,
Which may well end up a tad too long,

I hope you have taken the day off,
To be with mum and listen to her annoying cough!
To celebrate your 50 years,
I would have loved to give you a nice set of veneers,
However due to being crap,
Im afraid all you are going to to get today is this rap!

Scotland awaits you with open arms,
Especially if you get your wonderful daughter more charms,
ps this is actually a joke,
Anymore and i will probably croak!

And now for the bit that is cheesy,
Which finding the right words is not easy,

I couldn’t ask for a better dad,
One who is honest, kind and never too mad,
I miss waking up to Daisy Daisy,
While in the background mum goes crazy,

From firing water bottles across our lawn,
To licking batteries to see how they go on,
There never were dull times,
Even on that barge or during all those climbs,

I like to think i got your humour,
Mum says it's from her but i know thats a rumour,
I am very proud to be your daughter,
Even while we are separated by 1.3 billion cubic kilometers of water,

Anyway, i shall stop being gay,

Happy Birthday again my dearest pap,
Not too long and you’ll be needing a nap!!!

Lots of Birthday love,
Wish i could send u this via a dove,
I am now off to speak forever in rhyme,
As surprisingly this took me a lot of time!

PS your card is in the post,
I would have got it there on time but you see there was this ghost...

Claire :) xoxoxo